photo: coccinella-ladybug.blogspot.comThe Boys in the Crevice
Through split crust travelling together,
bouncing off sharp edges -
Somewhere an earthquake is laughing
gravelling at boys passing the test
Their quest – the end
Valleys and hills roamed
to the Crevice
Exit - Home
Beating chests
Jagged fingers of sunlight
Frightened now,
out of sight,
one hollers
Day - ViiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiD
Ricocheting back
And – eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeE
Calls only they understand
Marching band of feathers in their caps
plowing dirt through bad weather and mishaps
Wrestling traps where hang
ripped shirts
Marking the spot,
bonding each with the other
Pale and hungry
they trot back to town
returning home
together, alone
gulping brotherhood down
Through split crust travelling together,
bouncing off sharp edges -
Somewhere an earthquake is laughing
gravelling at boys passing the test
Their quest – the end
Valleys and hills roamed
to the Crevice
Exit - Home
Beating chests
Jagged fingers of sunlight
Frightened now,
out of sight,
one hollers
Day - ViiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiD
Ricocheting back
And – eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeE
Calls only they understand
Marching band of feathers in their caps
plowing dirt through bad weather and mishaps
Wrestling traps where hang
ripped shirts
Marking the spot,
bonding each with the other
Pale and hungry
they trot back to town
returning home
together, alone
gulping brotherhood down
LDN
Oh man - "Somewhere an earthquake is laughing/ gravelling at boys."
ReplyDeleteYou made up a word. It's perfect. I love that image so much.
and "Marching band of feathers/ in their caps..." That is the best image I have seen in your poetry. It is so spot on.
This poem is nearly publish-ready - I'd just take out the repetition of "the boys" at the end, and the "yearning for toys" line - it kind of takes the magic out of the whole beginning of the poem. I LOVE "gulping brotherhood down" as an ending!
Did it - YOU are so smart!
ReplyDeleteAaron - this really helps - I'm going back and re-editing - taking out superfluous words and phrases. Once I get the HTML editing thing in the bag - I won't spend "superfluous" time stressing...
ReplyDelete