The innocence of adolescence

I didn’t think about it then, how collective thought operates,
how evil is sold and bought
with negativity, 
and how the light tolerates smudged creativity 
because it was caught
by the innocence of adolescence.
Preoccupied with myself,  choosing rollers from the closet shelf,
celebrating the skinny mirror (curly hair,) my fear.
Hiding my essence on tin can rollers with bobby pins,
feeling guilty without the sins,
avoiding my presence in the innocence of adolescence.
And the rain! Damn the rain.
Hair curling up again.
Sunshine is a girl's best friend.
I had the perfect flip. I wore Maybelline mascarra 
and Sugar Pink on unkissed lips
puckered up. I swayed my hips praying not to trip,
playing girly games with boys, baiting them like toys.
Kiss me long but not too much...don’t touch.
Trading with sisters cheap shoes and blisters,
and the answers to the history test, mathematics and all the rest.
Cheating.
Competing.
My diet, no eating.
A mystery at best - the innocence of adolescence.
If I knew what I know now
how negativity operates,
how creativity tolerates
the innocence of adolescence,
would I do it all again?
Could I change a thing
in the situation I was in?
Probably not,
unless I knew then
how collective thought operates,
how evil is sold and bought
by negativity,
and how the light tolerates
smudged creativity
when it is caught
in the innocence of adolescence.

ldn